There was a huge list of grouses and moans, proving that the British really are an angry race, railing at the vicissitudes of life, knowing there’s nothing we can do about it, but we all love a jolly good old rant. I’ve made a new twitter friend who appears to be almost as much of a misanthrope as I am – she knows who she is, and I certainly like her. No American people made any comments, so perhaps this proves they are nicer, kinder, calmer more tolerant people than us grumpy Brits.
Here are the (anonymous) personal hatreds, ‘in no particular order’ (another irritating TV reality show phrase):
The extent of smoking bans being misunderstood.
Smokers being treated like lepers.
Public opinion being manipulated by the media.
Aspirant ‘artists, writers or musicians’ who just witter on about it and never actually produce any work.
Silly meaningless words, such as mediapreneur, webinar, and internet acronyms (lmao, lol) .
Parents shouting at their children in public, using profanities.
Dog walkers who refuse to pick up their pooch poo.
People who talk in a cinema.
Those who allow small children to rampage around a coffee shop or café.
Those who impinge on your privacy on a plane.
Tradesman who don’t arrive when they say they will.
BBC news people who introduce the local news saying ‘here is the news where you are’. [They’re not in my living room!]
The phrases ‘I can’t wait for’. [What are they going to do in the interim, go into hibernation?]
Reality show contestants who claim to have ‘been on a journey’.
Those who strip off to vest and shorts on a hot day then run their shaggy-coated dog around the block.
Parents who ignore the 48-hour quarantine rule and bring their sick children to school when they’ve been throwing up all night.
Here’s a couple more I was inspired to think of myself:
Anyone who spits on the pavement.
Anyone who talks in a very loud voice in a public place.
Stand-up comedians – most of them should sit down. The foul-mouthed ones who use four-letter words and talk about sexy stuff are the worst, they should have their mouths welded shut.
Anyone who holds two fingers from each hand either side of their head to imitate inverted commas – what pretentious twats.
Doctors who say ‘We’re not out of the woods yet’. [Sounds like an exploration into Borneo, not a hospital ward in Croydon]
Eco warriors who ram the imminent end of the earth and global warming down my throat. I’m happy using petrol, I don’t care if the timber I buy is from a sustained source and the polar ice caps can take care of themselves.
So let’s shine a light on all this and distil it down. These angers seem to fall into different groups:
People who feel persecuted, fighting back (smokers, those who feel to be the target of racism, childless adults who are ignored as irrelevant by those with hosts of children who think they should be treated as gods, etc etc).
Misuse of the language, silly words that irritate, meaningless phrases, convoluted logic.
Selfishness and lack of consideration in others (un-arriving tradesmen, inconsiderate parents, unimaginative pet owners, talkers in a cinema).
Anyone who intrudes on our own privacy (in a plane, coffee shop, making a noise that disturbs you).
Well I can truly say with this blog I’ve been on a journey and I can’t wait for your views on my next post which is bound to make me lol. Maybe I will become a mediapreneur and do lots of lmao ing (whatever it means) and take up smoking so I can blow fumes into the faces of rabid anti-smokers. Oh and I’ve decided to be a musician, it’s okay because I did take piano lessons when I was five and one day I’ll buy a guitar.
By the way, what surprises you? I’m compiling a little list of my own. . .